Anonymous asked: its me again.. the girl you wanted to message you back telling you if i was okay or not.. well im not, im damaged and i cant be fixed, not like this. im over it, im sick of it all. the sad thing is, is that i have no one to talk to about it, no one there to tell me that i shouldnt commit suicide because they actually care about me. so much shit is going on with my bf, best friends, and family. its just gotten to the point where ive had enough. i cant live like this. i dont want to be miserable.

First of all, you need to read this.

http://leather-diamonds.tumblr.com/post/8251637148/so-you-want-to-kill-yourself-right-itll-make-the-pain

Next, you need to take a step back to evaluate life, and things. You have no one to talk to? We’re here, we care. If you need to talk verbally you can add us on Skype and we will ALWAYS be more than happy to help - 24/7. Second of all, as much shit that’s going on with your family, boyfriend and friends, there is no reason to throw that all away. I know what it’s like to be falling to pieces, but it gets so much better. Please just don’t give up, you have to be here to actually see things get better - and I promise you they will. Whether it’s in a month, a year or ten, things get so much better eventually and you will look back on now and think yourself an idiot for ever doubting yourself. Please, I care so fucking much, my dad’s bestfriend hung himself because he thought no one cared, but my dad went into a depression after that and it took him a long time to get back, because he blamed himself. His wife is now basically a hermit, and his kids are dropkicks because they don’t know what to do. Death has such a big impact on people, I don’t think I can stress it to you enough. Please wait for things to get better, if I didn’t care I would not have spent the time writing this. If, at the end of the day, you think you have no one left - remember Tanya and I are always here. We have both been through the exact same things and we do not want you to have to feel the same way.

Much love,

- Natalya

Anonymous asked: Hey.. i dont know why im writting this but i just need to tell somebody. i literally fucking hate my life, i hate myself and i hate everybody that never cared. no one seems to ask if im ever okay or how im holding up. ive been depressed for months, ive been cutting most nights because i cant find a reason to live anymore. and i pull it off so well, being happy, smiling all the time im starting to fall for it. my god, nothings right in my life. dying is the only way out and honestly im out :/

Please read the response to the last question I just posted, I think it’s relevant for your case too. 

Don’t go anywhere, please. Please stick it out and wait until it gets better because I swear to God that it does. I promise you with every bone in my body. Please message us letting us know you’re okay, we really care. 

- Natalya

Anonymous asked: i dont know what to do anymore. i hate living. i want to die everyday. i cant handle this any more. this has been going on for too long. i've attemped once before and i'll probably attempt again tonnight. i hate this. i don't know what else to say. i just want to die. its all i want and its all i can think about

Don’t hate living. Living is so God-damned precious, and I can’t even describe to you how rare it is.

Well actually, it turns out I can. Look, I can understand exactly where you’re coming from. I know it’s hard to be happy, and despite how much you try to enjoy life, you always lay down at night and wonder what your purpose is.I am actually in your position at the moment, and there’s only one thing that I can guarantee. You will have so many ups and downs over the next few years. One morning you will wake up and you’ll think you’re cured and there’s no more depression, and the next morning you’ll wake up and want to throw yourself off a building. I know how it works, I’ve been there and I still am there. But let me ask you just one thing. What are the chances that you are alive today? What are the chances that one of your dad’s sperm reached your mum’s egg and created you? One in a million. One in a billion. The simple fact that you, out of millions and millions of others were born, is a miracle. YOU are a miracle. Your parent(s) have spent almost half their lives raising you. If you killed yourselves now, it would be the biggest waste. They didn’t have to raise you, they didn’t have to feed you, clothe you, protect you. But they chose to. You only have one life you know. One. Not 6, not 5, not even 2. One. Once you’re gone, there is no more. Your chance is up. Who knows, in 2 years you might fall in love. In 5 years you might find a cure for cancer. In 10 years you might save someones life. If you kill yourself, there is no more you. You won’t exist anymore, and you will never be concious again. Life is so precious and so rare. You’re young, go out, live, have fun and enjoy, because believe it or not, these years aren’t going to last forever. Don’t kill yourself. You are precious and one of a kind - there will never be another you.

Tough it out, because there are so many people in there with you. I’m in there with you, so is Tanya. Chin up, you can do this. Whether it’s in one year, or in ten, things will get better and the grey will begin to clear. I promise. You just have to be around to see it.

- Natalya x

Anonymous asked: the link to natalya's blog doesnt come up!

i’ll post it!

Anonymous asked: I have liked this guy for over a year now, and we used to be so close. He got a girlfriend a while back, and the whole time i was broken. They broke up, and im pretty sure he liked me. Now, he has changed into a complete asshole. He has stopped talking to me, stopped inboxing or texting and just talks to the prettier sluttier girls in and out of school. Im not over him, and i dont know what to do, because all i do is put an effort in and he doesnt even give a shit.

You know what you need to do? You need to distance yourself from him just like he’s distancing himself from you. You need to delete him off of Facebook, from your phone, unfollow him on tumblr, ignore him at school, stay away from him as far as possible because the more you try to distance yourself from him the more you are trying to let go. The more you are trying to be happier without him because the way you are putting it, you don’t need him. You deserve better. You don’t deserve to be treated this way, nobody does.

Second of all, stop comparing yourself to other girls around you, it isn’t healthy. WE are all beautiful in our own separate ways and you need to believe it yourself to think it otherwise you will compare yourself to other girls and call yourself ugly, and fat and label yourself and that isn’t healthy. Do you honestly want to be that girl? You’re beautiful, yes i know i can’t see you but you still are so beautiful, believe me when i say that. Don’t EVER doubt yourself for a second, because the moment you do that is when all the negative thoughts come rushing back.

You miss him? I’m sure he misses you to but don’t let him know how much you miss him. If he smiles at you in the hallway just wave and let him know how well you’re doing without him, even if you aren’t. He doesn’t need to know how you are because the second he asks, he will be all over you and the feelings will rush back.

One day somebody will fall in love with you, they are going to fall in love with your imperfections and they won’t ever hurt you because they love you so much. Don’t worry about love right  now, focus on your life and being successful, don’t find love, let love find you. That is what is so beautiful about love, it finds you. 

Tanya x

Anonymous asked: im always getting my mum to cook food i dont like so i dont have to eat it :/ i want to be skinnier i want to feel beautiful and well to fit in with society. i feel the need to live up to everyones expectations of how i should look of be like. im so pathetic.. but see now that im sick just looking at food makes me want to throw up because my eating habits have gone out the window :/ i dont know what to do

I do this too, and I am way too self conscious about my weight a lot of the time… but this got me thinking - who am I trying to be skinny for? Am I trying to be skinny for the judgemental bitchy group at my school? Am I trying to be skinny for guys? Am I trying to be skinny for my parents?

I realised that the answer is to all of the above. I’m trying to be something I’m not, just to be accepted by these people. But what for? Why should I pretend to be someone else when that’s not who I am? I love cake, I love chocolate, and I LOVE lamb yiros with extra garlic sauce - and I’ve had to give that up why? Because some self-centred and self-absorbed thickheads will only accept me if I am that way?

Here’s a tip: stop giving a fuck. The day you just stop caring about what people think of you is the day that you will just feel so much more free. Eat healthy. Exercise. But do not stop eating, because you’re changing yourself for the wrong reasons.

You’re trying to be better for society? For people you don’t even know? For people who even if you had no flaws and had everything in the world would shit all of you behind your back and think nothing of ripping you to shreds? There is only being yourself and being individual and unique and I promise you that when you realise that you will be a whole lot happier. If someone doesn’t accept me for my weight, then that’s their fucking problem to be honest, just goes to show theyre narrow minded shallow fucks. They’re wasting THEIR time and THEIR energy, bothering to give a fuck about how I look. How is that my problem? It isn’t. Looks fade anyway. If you were prettier you’d be prettier. If you were skinnier you’d be skinnier. If you were taller you’d be taller and if you were shorter youd just be fucking shorter. It wouldn’t make you a better person, it wouldn’t make you any funnier or nicer and wouldn’t automatically get you more friends. Look I’m a size 12 already and weigh 65+ kgs and I’m only 170cms. For my age that’s wayyyy beyond what I should be, but you know what? I could not give a solid fuck and a half.

If you wake up tomorrow and you can’t move a muscle in your body, and you were told you were going to die in a matter of hours, how did you spend your last day of life? Did you spend it being happy, laughing, eating, enjoying? Or did you spend it starving yourself, quieting that rumbling ache in your stomach? Watching skinny people and feeling jealousy wash all over you? Is that how you want to live your life? Girl you’re young - join a gym and get fit instead of starving yourself because you’ll fuck up your metabolism. Did you know that when you starve yourself, your body goes into starvation mode, and because of this your brain is sending signals saying “help me, I’m starving to death, I’m going to die.” Because of these signals, your body then releases extra fats to keep you alive, and this will make you actually GAIN weight if you don’t eat - and if you have stopped eating and after a while you DO decide to eat, you will gain a stack of weight very rapidly because your body is saying ‘what the fuck is going on, I thought I was dying’. 

Please stop wanting to be something you’re not, because you only have one life - don’t waste it wanting what you don’t have; be happy with it. We all end up old and wrinkly in the end anyway, so why care so much now? The day you stop caring how you look is the day you’ll finally be happy and confindent, and that will shine through as real beauty and people will be drawn to that. 

The way to get back on track is to start exercising instead of starving, and you need to slowly work food back into your diet. Avoid fatty foods, but if you’re worried about your body image then eat LOTS of greens (a cucumber, lettuce, apple, lemon, water and celery smoothie tastes disgusting but is REALLY good for you and filling too) and eat carbs before 3 o’clock in the afternoon. This means that eat WHATEVER you want throughout the day, as long as you work it off before you go to bed. This is really hard though, and I suggest that you slowly, day by day just gradually introduce more food into your diet. Look up some delicious recipes on the internet for dinner, lunch etc., that your mum can cook and soon enough you will be eating as well as happy with your body weight. Just don’t care what people think of you too much because that will get you NO WHERE. No one likes a girl who doesn’t like herself.

Best of luck, let me know how things go. Please take this advice!

- Natalya x

beingpaleisperf asked: I have so much on my mind right now, I don't know how to write it out. but I do think that you're advice blog is the best I've ever seen! xxxxx

Thankyou so much, it means a lot to hear this feedback. Let us know if there’s anything we can help you with! X

Anonymous asked: What do I do? The sweetest guy wanted to ask me out today, I avoided him because there is a guy who lives in Perth (I live in Adelaide) and I am in love with him, we Skype whenever we can, and I am convinced he is literally perfect for me. I feel bad though, because I knew that if I didn't avoid the other boy he would've asked me out and I would've had to say no because I don't feel the same way. I've never met the guy I like in Perth, but I can tell we are meant for eachother.

I will try answer this as simply as I can, because I think the answer is quite obvious. 

I think you should give the sweet guy a chance. I know you’re in love with the guy in Perth, and I think majority of people have been in love with someone they met over the internet but not in person, but honestly - in the long run I’d say the guy from Adelaide is a better option. There’s no telling what this guy from Perth is like in person, and I know you guys Skype every day and I know you’ll tell me I’m wrong and you know this guy better than anyone else, but the truth is, until you have met him personally and spent time with him one on one, you just don’t. Give this sweet guy a chance, don’t jump into anything, but get to know him before you avoid him. He might be the person that’s made for you, and if you lose him for the guy in Perth then who knows what you’re missing out on. What if something happens with the guy from Perth and it goes wrong, and you’re left wondering what could have been with the sweet guy? 

I’m not saying shut someone out or anything and choose, I’m just saying to get to know the sweet guy better. Only time will tell.

- Natalya

Anonymous asked: i am so depressed, but i have no reason to be. there are people out there that have fucked up families and no friends and get bullied. when i think about it, my life is actually good, i have a lot of friends and my family is really supportive and i dont get bullied that much, but the smallest things can make me upset. i get jelous easily and those days when i wake up and look like shit i just get really depressed. i want to cut myself coz i hear it helps, but im scared of the pain.

I know how this feels, and I promise you that eventually it gets better. Here’s the best advice that you’re ever going to hear. Stick it out. Put your chin up, and hold strong because it fades. The greyness clears eventually and instead of wanting to sleep all the time, you won’t be able to sleep because you do actually want to wake up. Whether it’s because of a boy, or because of a friend, or anything else, I promise you with every inch of my being that things will clear, and you will feel better eventually - don’t doubt me for a second. You have to give it time of course, because it won’t just happen over night. But you have to fight this with every inch of your being, because if you don’t, it WON’T get better. You know you’re not ugly, and stop picking out your flaws. I guarantee you that some day, someone WILL fall in love with each and every one of your imperfections - and I preach this to everyone because it’s true. Cutting does not help, I have cut for a long time and it gets you no where. It is a quick outlet for pain, but soon becomes addicting and I do NOT advise you to start, unless you want an even harder road to get better. 

- Natalya